At Alpha Phi Youth tonight, we began our series on Dating & Sex using video curriculum by Michael & Hayley DiMarco. In tonight's video, we met Alexa & Aaron (they were dating separate people not each other). Alexa talked about how she ignored the warning signs in her relationship with her boyfriend. Aaron talked about how he just liked the title of "boyfriend". It gave him an identity.
Some of the important points from our discussion include:
* Though the Bible doesn't speak to dating directly, it does speak a lot about relationships. In fact, relationship is part of the very nature of God and it is also why Jesus died on the cross for our sins so that our relationship with a Holy God could be restored by faith in Him.
*God should be the number one priority in our life. Our relationship with Him is the most important relationship of all.
*To date or not to date is a personal choice that every teenager needs to make. If and when to date is something that should be decided in discussion with your parents. Parents should instill values and set guidelines to help your child experience God-honoring relationships not only in dating but in friendships and family relationships as well.
*Like Alexa & Aaron, many teens date for the wrong reasons or date the wrong people. We are influenced by the people we spend time with for good or for bad. Therefore, you should choose wisely the people you will date. To ignore the warning signs, as Alexa did, or to think that we can change the person (and not be changed ourselves) can lead to a lot of problems. We also shouldn't date just to date. Being like Aaron and just wanting the title of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" or to be in a relationship are not good reasons to date. When you have that attitude it will lead you to be less choosy about who you date. You're just satisfied with being in a relationship regardless of the character of the person you are dating.
*We live in a culture that has made sex a god. Like the Baal-worshippers in Hosea 11:1-3, our culture has become obsessed with sex. TV, movies, music, billboards-the celebration of sex is everywhere. To quote from our lesson, "And you can imagine the true God sighing as he watches all of this. 'I created this people,' he says. 'I have loved these people. Sex was my idea. Why won't they let me tell them how to use it?'"
*There are numerous biblical and practical reasons to avoid sex outside of marriage and a major one is: It's idolatry. When we engage in a sexual relationship outside of marriage between a man and a woman, we are saying "This is more important to me than God." Is that something, as Christians, we want to say?
*Remember what the DiMarcos said in the video: Either you will marry this person or you will break up. Eventually one of those two things will happen.
*'Don't worship your boyfriend or girlfriend as a god. Don't expect that relationship to give you a full, complete life. Keep the focus on God and let Him be your priority. Accept this relationship as a gift from Him, and conduct it in a way that pleases Him."
*Remember, too what I said to you: "If you break up, they will marry someone else. Therefore, you may be dating someone else's spouse. How do you want your future spouse to be treated by the person they may be dating now? Also, on your wedding day which message would you rather send to your mate-'I love you and you are the first and only one' or 'I love you and you are the last one.'?"
Finally, let me close with this from our lesson:
"Priorities. You are making decisions every day based on what's most important to you. Will sex be the most important factor in your life, or will God take that role?
God made you to be a sexual being. He wrote it in your DNA. You have hormones. Sexuality is a part of your existence. The question is, what will you do with it? Will it become an idol? Will it be the thief that destroys? Or will you put it in its place as one part of a life that honors God in its wholeness.
Colossians 3:17 says, 'And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.' Will that be your story,as you watch TV, as you surf the Net, as you walk past the most attractive people in your class, as you sit alone with a boyfriend or girlfriend--will you act in the name of the Good Shepherd, who knows you and loves you?" (Read John 10:8-14 to understand the references to the "thief" and "Good Shepherd".)
One more point that needs to be made: God is a god of new beginnings, fresh starts. Maybe you have realized some things about yourself tonight that you know does not honor God. Now that you have realized that, you need to know that God will forgive you, cleanse you of your sin and give you a fresh start (see 1 John 1:9). What is past is past but you can set a new course for your future.
As always please feel comfortable talking with me or any of our Adult Leadership Team about this or other issues that you have questions about. Our desire is to help you grow in your relationship with Jesus Christ and to experience the abundant life that He has planned for all of us.
Look forward to seeing you at Alpha Phi next week as we continue our series on Dating by talking about the purpose of dating.
Have a great day in the Lord!
Pastor Russ